Alas! New apartment is wired!

So, there was a bit of a hiatus from the blog entries… easily explained with the fact that I was offered a job and moved.  I now have internet in my humble abode, but my phone died and so I lost any phone numbers obtained in the last 14 months.  I shall pick up, however, with the blogging again.  With the move, I have felt more inspired to continue this blog in one primary direction: food.  I’m not much of a culinary expert, actually I am far from that.  However, I enjoy cooking and baking things, I often screw up—but that’s half the fun—and love to capture such things in photographs.

My first cooking venture in the new place started with ground turkey, green pepper, and onion.  I started sautéing the onion and pepper, then added turkey chunks.  I threw in a little oil, remembered I had corn in the freezer and dropped some of that in, then seasoned with a some garlic pepper (I had no idea such a thing existed, but was really excited and had to buy it).  It was lacking something at this point, so I opened my cupboard… and what jumped out at me?  Ramen.  So I microwaved the noodles, then threw them into the skillet, and added just a little of the chicken seasoning packet (and threw the rest away).

As if this wasn’t enough, I had my heart set on some sort of garlic bread, so I wiped the skillet out, then put butter on some wheat bread, added garlic pepper, and some shredded cheese, and toasted that up.

It was delicious!  The noodle-y concoction was actually very good, probably could have easily omitted the oil (if I had any idea what else would have made it into the skillet at that point I would have).  The garlic toast was delicious, as I absolutely LOVE garlic.  And cheese.  All in all, a complete success.  Cheers to having a gas stove!

To do:

Bake corn muffins from scratch?  Check!
Arrange to visit housing options?  Check!
Put in my last day with Walmart?  Check!
Watch "Happy Endings"?  Check!
Relax a little bit?  Check!

Uffda.

In the last week, I have had to resign from more jobs than I have in my entire life.  I was sad to see one go, excited to let the other go, and the third I would have loved to have put more time into.  However, this means I will have one (and only one!) job for the foreseeable future.  This has not been the case in... ever.

September flew by, and now October is so demanding that it's slipping through the cracks too.  In the next two weeks, I'm supposed to find someplace to live, move in, and start a brand new job.  I am way excited about all of that for many reasons, but every once in a while I panic about the fact that I haven't found a place yet, about how to make my preferences and my budget cooperate, and about how I will have no friends in this new town.

How often do I feel overwhelmed with anxiety for this or that?  I let it get to me, I really do.  Until I take a few minutes (or more) and actually clear my mind--I mean get to a point where my mind and body are still.  Sometimes it takes minutes, other times it takes days, but I always make it back.  And when I do, when I feel alive, when I open myself up to the Lord and allow myself to hear him respond, I find a peace in the midst of the commotion.  (That's right, the hecticness is not gone, but I am at peace with it.)  It is then that I reexamine what I am doing, how I'm doing it, and I press on with my whole self realigned, and with my heart, mind, and ears wide open.

I am, right now, in the process of clearing my mind.  It always baffles me how far I can trudge in my own direction, before realizing there is a better way.

Embrace it,... reach out and give it a big hug.

I have been cashiering at Walmart for a while now, and I tend to be scheduled to work in the Lawn and Garden department quite frequently.  What this means is simply that I often am working alone, and it is slow.  I have found this to be some of the best time I've had to reflect on my life, and to actually slow myself down.  (And I get paid for it!)  I never would have expected this to be a relaxing job, and often times it's quite the opposite, but nights like tonight offer a unique opportunity to thoroughly think my way through things that I otherwise continue to push back for lack of time.  In many ways, this job has been quite a blessing to me.

Tonight I was reading "Contemplative Youth Ministry," by Mark Yaconelli.  Such a great book so far that has caused deep introspection into my feelings and expectations as a person working in youth ministry.  So often we get caught up in the programming, and marketing, (even in the church) so much so that we forget the incredible value of relationships, and being vulnerable with each other, and the impact that can have on peoples lives.  I know that I have and will again get caught up in the planning and marketing side of ministry, and frankly those things are good in moderation, but I will then come back to the whole reason we are here, and the whole reason I want to even be involved in the lives of youth.

I want to give youth the opportunity to feel like an equal, safe to ask any and all questions, and to know that they are loved without condition.

This is not about the religion, it is not about agreeing with me or anyone else, and it is not about having good attendance or long attention spans.  It is about being open to God, and about embracing the truth that you are loved--without exception, without question.

Blueberry-Shmooberry

Well, the baking commenced this fine fall day.  I tried two new recipes: the blueberry muffins listed in the America's Test Kitchen cookbook, and the one posted on Vanilla and Lace.  Both were good, but honestly the cinnamon streusel topping on the latter really put it over the top.  However, the former did look more beautiful, raised higher, and the lemon zest and sugar topping gives it a good flavor.

From the book, with lemon and sugar topping:

Ignore the top right muffin,... that was the runt from the end of the batter!

From the blog, with cinnamon streusel topping:

Walking is good, muffins are better.

Today was long.  I got to visit with a friend that is moving back to another country, which was lovely.  It was just hard to muster up the energy to drive all the way there.  Of course, as expected, once I was with her the time flew, and I loved every second of it.  I shall miss her when she goes back to Brazil, but I know that she will be home then.  We walked into town and ate at a lovely cafe/bakery place--much like the Common Cup.  We ate the soup and bread, split a danish, and drank fluffy coffee shop type beverages.  Note: I don't know exactly what makes up an "Italian smoothie," (and it does not include fruit), but it is delicious.  (And, upon further review, I think it's the same as the Bunnies at Kodiak Coffee.)

So, my endeavor tomorrow is to bake muffins!  Last weekend, I had the most amazing (cinnamon swirl cheesecake) muffin, and now I have the desire to make good muffins.  Better than any out of the box kind.  So, I have a recipe picked out from the America's Test Kitchen cookbook, and I am going to give it a go.  I enjoy my cooking sprees, because it usually turns out quite well.  (Other possible muffin recipes: Raspberry Cheesecake Muffins, Blueberry Muffins.)

Too much.

There is no such thing as too much of a good thing, but often times the things I think are good (or want to believe are good), really aren't.

A rectangle is not a square, but a square is a rectangle.

Things are always changing.  It doesn't always feel like it's for the better.  But I know it's always for God.  And really, truly, at my inmost being, I would not (and I don't believe anyone else would) be happy if change didn't happen, it's just difficult for me to embrace the change as it happens.  I like sameness, but I've actually gotten much better at dealing with change.  One big step was grasping the fact that we ought to live in the present--and I mean really living this truth.  Difficult to put into practice, yes, but after the initial stomach churning stage, clarity returns, and I am better able to press on with the joy of knowing God is doing his thing.

One thing that was brought to my attention today during a Bible study time was that something (in this case the Bible) can be true without being fact.  I've always been particularly aware of the fact that the Word was passed on verbally for years and years, and even once it was written, has been translated I don't know how many times, into the numerous English versions I read now.  Of course things have gotten jumbled or turned around, I could talk about this point for days.  However, it is still all true.  What was pointed out today, is that it is not necessarily fact.  Point in case: Jonah.  Was he going away from where God told him to go, and then was presented with such an obstacle that he couldn't ignore and had to go where God wanted?  Yes.  Was he literally swallowed by a whale and put where God told him?  Perhaps. The point being it presents truth, but not fact.

I liked this point.  I am skeptical, sort of, but I think it's the skepticism of a new theory.  This is how I approach this: 1) fact is defined as "an event or thing known to have happened or existed," (this was my first flag in this conversation, because I tend to equate fact and truth); 2) we can't know for sure that this happened, so therefor it can't be considered a fact; 3) sola scriptura, I believe the Bible is the Word of God, and while I know it was written by humans, I also believe the Holy Spirit has/does keep it holy and true.

This is my story.

I have often come to the conclusion that I have so many hobbies and interests that I am passionate about, that there is not enough time to thoroughly develop one or two. Instead, I end up jumping from one to the next, with my attention span as my guide, doing things well--or even above average--but never feeling as though I have truly excelled. Sometimes, this realization fills me with joy. To think that I have been blessed with so many gifts, and do so many different things rather well, makes me feel like I need to share this with others. Other times, this realization paralyzes me with frustration. To think that my spare time (what little of it I have) is being split so many ways, that not one thing can be done as well as I'd hope, makes me sad.

Today, I was overcome (again) with the desire to blog. Now, when it comes to blogs, I dislike it when authors ramble about irrelevant things that make little sense, or especially when authors write without a purpose or a point. I don't want to be that author. But, as I've eluded to, I feel pulled in so many directions I find it difficult to settle on one point on which to channel all my blogs. Therefor, my intention is to blog about my many adventures, misadventures, theories, revelations, and experiences as I trample through my various channels of life. I intend to be diligent with tags, to provide an audience friendly structure in which they may read about what they care about.

I encourage you, as a reader, to note that I am a person that thrives on feedback--critical or complimentary the same.